“We can’t force anyone to be what we want them to be and we can’t force them to love us how we want to be loved. The very act of doing that is out of alignment with what we’re trying to create.” -Shirley Owens
Are you in a toxic relationship or know someone who is? What if instead of feeling exhausted in it, your relationship can become a union of two different individuals coming together for one greater purpose? In this episode, Shirley has you look inside yourself and your relationship to figure out how to come from a place of power and confidence. Press the play button and have a powerfully aligned week!
Highlights:
00:40 Relationships
02:00 Be Powerfully Aligned
Tweets:
Do you feel like your relationship isn’t like the one you imagined it to be? Tune in as @SfbaldwinOwens shares how you can get what you want in your relationship!
Quotes:
00:52“We can’t force anyone to be what we want them to be and we can’t force them to love us how we want to be loved. The very act of doing that is out of alignment with what we’re trying to create.” -Shirley Owens
Connect With Rhoberta:
The Relationship Help Doctor, Rhoberta Shaler, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships and crises. Even the United States Marines have sought her help. Dr. Shaler focuses on helping the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult toxic people she calls “Hijackals”, to stop the crazy-making and save their sanity. She is the author of 16 books, including Escaping the Hijackal Trap and Stop! That's Crazy Making!. She hosts the internationally popular podcast, Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships. Her YouTube channel, Toxic Relationship Help has reached over 360,000 views. Her mission is to provide insights, information, and inspiration for clients and audiences to transform relationships with themselves and other humans to be honest, respectful, and safe in all ways.
Transcriptions
Shirley Owens: Hello and welcome back, today, I'm reflecting on my conversation with Rhoberta Shaler. I think we've all been in, or have witnessed someone that we are close to in a toxic relationship, or at least in a relationship that's not working for us. One thing I've realized over time is that we can't force anyone to be what we want them to be. And we can't force them to love us, how we want to be loved. The very act of doing that is so out of alignment with what we are trying to create. I talk about this often, and that is when we're in alignment with who we authentically are. People will either vibrate in or vibrate out. So when we are holding onto someone who's vibrating out, we become exhausted, insecure, and we lack self-confidence. We become completely out of alignment with ourselves. It doesn't always mean we have to be out of that relationship though. We can take back the power and control to use it on ourselves. We can become competent in what we are aligned with and confident in the fact that the other person will either fall in love with that you, or out of love for that you. I know it sounds harsh, but what if your relationship could be a partnership between two people just living in their own power and confidence yet coming together for one greater purpose.
“We can’t force anyone to be what we want them to be and we can’t force them to love us how we want to be loved. The very act of doing that is out of alignment with what we’re trying to create.” -Shirley Owens
This week, I would have you look into your relationships. Is there something that you're holding onto that as you let go, it would be gone? Is there someone who wants you to become your authentic self and will do the same and more love can be created? Are you living each moment in alignment with yourself? Would you be the same person and make the same choices? If this person wasn't around, tap into yourself, where are you feeling resistance? Is there something you're being or doing that you wouldn't be or do as this person, job, or situation wasn't there? Are you feeling exhausted or at your wit's end? If so, I want you to find one thing that you can let go of and be or do that aligns with you this week. No matter the reaction you get, stick to it. I promise you that having a little bit of power over yourself will propel you into wanting to have more and more. I love you all and have a powerfully aligned week, and I will see you next Tuesday.
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