“When you feel the emotional freedom… you won't think you are, you will be it and that's the difference.” –Rachel Fiori
Shirley and Rachel Fiori, discuss how to face even the toughest adversities with ease. You can be free from your emotional burdens. That is, when you quit sabotaging yourself and step into your “beingness”. The key is in you, you just have to use it.
Highlights:
01:11 On a Mission of Self-Empowerment
04:15 The Dark Side of the Spotlight
10:44 Move Through with Your Beingness
16:04 What Makes Pain More Painful
23:08 How to Make Your Life Way Easier
29:00 When Challenges Don’t Knock you Down Anymore
34:58 How to Know When You’re Ready to Heal
36:41 Be Free
Tweets:
Why do those who have it all suddenly lose it all? @SfbaldwinOwens and Master Coach, Rachel Fiori, open the dark side of the limelight and how to step out from it. #spotlight #emotionalfreedom #GracePeacePower #stability #falsehappiness #highersoul #anxiety #SelfsabotagingChoices #TRUTH #loveyourpain #integrity #gratitude
Quotes:
“When somebody is thrust into a spotlight… they are thrust into a spotlight where everybody gets to judge and criticize.” –Rachel Fiori
“We've all made bad choices. That isn't the truth of who you are, though.” –Rachel Fiori
“Challenges are there to offer us an opportunity to grow.” –Rachel Fiori
“The level of intensity of that pain is usually correlated with your level of resistance to embracing the pain. So when we are resistant, it makes the pain that much worse.” –Rachel Fiori
“You're not your emotions; you're just experiencing emotions.” –Rachel Fiori
“You don't have to try to be in integrity. You literally just are because that's the truth of who you are anyway.” –Rachel Fiori
“When you feel the emotional freedom… you won't think you are, you will be it and that's the difference.” –Rachel Fiori
Connect With Rachel:
Rachel is a Self-Mastery Coach, Occupational Therapist (OT), Life/Relationship Coach, Healer, Psychic-Medium, and a Motivational Press published author. She has been teaching, training, and coaching patients and clients for over 18 years. As an OT she specialized in premature infants, babies, sensory processing in pediatrics and mental and behavioral health in pediatrics and adults. Rachel's years of experience in treating patients with severe depression, PTSD, trauma, and anxiety lead her to develop a holistic treatment to transcend the symptoms of these disorders called: Emotional Presence Training.
Rachel is a leader in self-transformation and guides people to self-mastery in their lives, spiritual awakening, emotional healing, parenting skills, and relationships. It's easy to step into self-empowerment, emotional mastery, and to experience real results when you have the right guidance and the right tools. Rachel offers both. If you're ready to shift from struggle to ease, you've found the right coach.
Transcriptions
Shirley Owens: My guest today is Rachel Fiori. Rachel is a Self-Mastery Coach and leader in transformation, guiding people to authentic healing connection to their inner power and true emotional freedom. Welcome Rachel.
Rachel Fiori: Thank you so much. It's such a pleasure to be here with you sharing the space with you today, Shirley. I appreciate it.
Shirley Owens: Of course. I have to say I'm super excited about our conversation today, although we'll be a sensitive subject. I really, really love what you're up to in the world, and I'd really like to start by having you tell a little bit of your story, your journey, how you got to being as amazing as you are right now.
Rachel Fiori: Sure. So I guess the summary of it is, you know, of my entire lifetime because it has definitely been a life journey is, you know, I grew up with a childhood that was just filled with abuse, really extreme, severe emotional, mental, verbal abuse, and sometimes physical, and a constant criticism, you're not good enough, and just horrible. And growing up with that, I always had the sense of, okay, I'm here to learn from this, and there's a mission here for me and that's why I'm going through this. What can I learn? What can I grow into? Who am I meant to evolve in to based on all of this? And that sort of led me on a long journey of kind of spiritual awakening on learning, moving into the rehabilitation field, the medical field, which I was in for a very long time, mental health and pediatrics, but also as a life coach, as a spiritual teacher, and a self-mastery coach kind of simultaneously. And what I learned through all of my experiences was, okay, depression, anxiety, horrible painful emotions, agony, suffering, you know, all the stuff that's out there is a load of crap. And working in the medical field, I got to see it firsthand that no, you have the power within, you do not have to suffer, you do not have to suffer from symptoms of panic, PTSD, depression, anxiety, et cetera, et cetera, you do not, we just aren't growing up in a culture or society yet that teaches self-empowerment. And so that became my mission, not only to just, you know, heal myself and not have to suffer from anxiety and all these things, but you know, how do I then truly master it? I don't teach anything that I haven't yet mastered myself. So that in a nutshell, all of my experiences, work experiences, personal experiences, pain, suffering, all that stuff led me to being the master coach that I am now, where I truly can guide people to pure emotional freedom.
Shirley Owens: Wow. Your story sounds a little bit like my story and I love that you're speaking of these emotions and feeling things that we are told that we need to fill, or that we are supposed to fill, or have to fill so I really love that. Today we're going to talk about suicide, and mental health, and celebrities, and high profile individuals. And I myself have worked in mental health within the MLB, and with celebrities, and high profile athletes. So I'm really excited to hear what you have to say and to take on this new perspective on this horrible, just a horrible thing.
Rachel Fiori: Yeah. Yeah.
Shirley Owens: So tell me what led you to, you know, look towards that, look towards that focus of even just the focus of suicide.
Rachel Fiori: So the interesting thing about when somebody is thrust into a spotlight in whatever way. High-profile, CEO, running big business, athletes, professional athletes, you know, actors, famous people, you name it. What's interesting about that is they are thrust into a spotlight where everybody gets to judge, and criticize, and whatever it is that you are, like, you take you with you wherever you go, right? So your patterns, your conditioning, your programming, your self sabotage, your anxiety, your unhealed old traumas, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. All of those things that are your experiences that you carry with you that are unhealed is an easy way to put it, are going with you into that celebrityhood, you know? So when you're then in a spotlight, it magnifies and intensifies. We think, we are conditioned to think that when we achieve our definition in this country of success, that when we choose success, or we have all the money, we have all this and all of that, and the fame, that'll make us happy. Instead of realizing we can actually create and manifest our lives from our deeper true selves, from a place of empowerment. And that's what my business, the masters itself is all about, it's actually mastering the self, your true self, shifting out of your false self into your true self. And that means when you experience stressful situations, you know, being thrown into the limelight, having all that extra stress put on you, it is not about mental health or mental toughness, that is the opposite of what we need to be focusing on. It's actually about connecting to your deeper inner truth. That deeper inner presence that every human has access to you that allows you to process emotions as they arise. Whether that's anxiety, stress, overwhelm, pressure, depression, you name it, process emotions as they arise because they are part of the human experience connecting to your deeper inner presence, which is the powerful divine self, your higher soul, if you want to put it that way. When you can do that, you can handle anything in life with grace, with peace, and with power. That is what we're here to offer, and that is what, you know, people thrust into the limelight and in all the spotlight of everything where you are everything you do is under a microscope. It's only going to intensify what you already are carrying with you, and taking, you know, prescription medications, and doing meditation, and doing yoga, and working out, that doesn't heal and cure what we're talking about. So coping strategies are not the way to go. And if they were, we wouldn't have people like Anthony Bourdain killing themselves, Chester Bennington, Kate spade, Robin Williams, we wouldn't have so many examples of people who have at all--
“When somebody is thrust into a spotlight… they are thrust into a spotlight where everybody gets to judge and criticize.” –Rachel Fiori
Shirley Owens: Right.
Rachel Fiori: --and yet, right. And they still get to that place, they still are experiencing intense suffering so intensely that they would rather not be here than continue on.
Shirley Owens: So take me on a journey now. And like I said, I've worked with a lot of these people too. And I think that a lot of what I teach about getting what you want is this is what it is about. And so in our society we see fortune, and fame, and professional assets, and movie stars and we grow up wanting to be part of that and wanting to, you know, idolizing these people. So I am an actress, and I'm on a stage, and I get a phone call, and now all of a sudden I'm a movie star, I get put in a very high, you know, just a high profile film, and I just got what I wanted, right? I just worked my whole life to get what I wanted. And so take on a journey from that place of what we as a society see versus what's truly going on inside of that person, and what can lead them from that spot to waking up one morning feeling unworthy of life.
Rachel Fiori: Yeah. What a beautiful question. So the first thing is, you know, how do you get what you want? The real question, the deeper question is, who's telling you what it is that you want? And if you're coming from your ego, your false self, the person that you think you are, that we're conditioned to believe that we're just this person, that I'm just Rachel, I'm a spiritual teacher, I'm a self mastery coach, I'm a label, label, label. If that's all I think of myself, then no, when I get thrust into that spotlight, and I have my hit movie, it's gonna be really hard for me to handle psychologically, mentally, emotionally, because I don't have the emotional stability of my divine power flowing, and creating, and moving me through these experiences. I just have the little self, the little me that I think I am. And so what do you want? Well, really, we strive to achieve things and attain things because we think it's gonna make us happy.
Shirley Owens: Right.
Rachel Fiori: That is really it. Like we think that's gonna make us happy. And so we get it, and then we realize after five seconds of the excitement that comes with it, why am I so, why is my depression worse? Why is the anxiety intensifying? Because this isn't making you happy, that is never going to make you happy. It will give you a false sense of happiness for a very short period of time. So the real thing, the real question is, what did your higher soul come onto this planet in the physical form that is you. What is your higher soul want you to do for that to be joy, happy, peace, love. You have to create your existence from that deeper place of divine power, it has nothing to do with religion It's just the deeper sense of who you are, that's your presence. So then, when you get into the spotlight, you get that hit movie, example, you're now the star, this amazing actress that got put out on the screens, and it's on film, and everybody knows who you are, guess what? Stress does not come with that. Very poor self-sabotaging choices do not come with that. There's no such thing as anxiety coming with that. There was no such thing as falling into depression, eventually. There's no such thing as not being able to handle the pressures of your stardom hood now. It doesn't exist because your divine presence, there's no such thing as anxiety. It literally doesn't exist, fears, worry, low self-worth, none of that exists in the deeper part of every human being, that is their true self. So if you're connected from that, in that space, you are the beingness of your divine presence of that inner presence, the powerful part of you that is you. And then you move through life and whatever experiences you move through, whatever challenges may come your way, you move through them with grace and you can handle anything.
Shirley Owens: Wow. That's all I can say at the moment. It's so true, this is just so true, you know, I think it starts at birth, right? We're told, Oh, the baby's crying because she's upset or--
Rachel Fiori: Right.
Shirley Owens: --and you hear these stories, and then you go to school and the teacher says, Oh, your child is acting out. She must have been feeling bad about this person treating her this way, and these stories are just put upon us in layers, and layers, and layers, and layers.
“Challenges are there to offer us an opportunity to grow.” –Rachel Fiori
Rachel Fiori: That's all we are. We're filled with stories, conditioning, we are never filled with our truth, capital T truth. Learning to live your life and heal all that old stuff means living your life from truth. And then there's no such thing as stepping out of integrity either. It's not about coping mechanisms, and therapy, and here's how you make better choices, guess what? There's no choice but one of integrity. When you heal all this nonsense, that is the false you, your past is not you, your poor choices are not you, it's not the real you, that's who you showed up us through conditioning, and unhealed traumas, et cetera, et cetera. It's who you showed up us in the past. We were all human, we all made terrible mistakes, we've all made bad choices. That isn't the truth of who you are though. The truth of who you are is not being realized, or you wouldn't have made choices that are sabotaging, or unloving, or selfish, or you know, cheating, or when fame steps on knocks on your door, it's all suddenly I'm famous so I can go be an idiot. You know, like that gives me an excuse to go be an idiot and step out of integrity. It's like, Nope, that's who you already were showing up to us, and the fame, and the money, and the whatever. Just intensified it and then suddenly you wonder why you're struggling with severe anxiety, or depression, or panic attacks, or whatever because you're not living as your true self. Your true self, when you come from that divine place, from that deeper inner presence, the place of power not force. Power, it doesn't matter how famous you are, you move through it and you enjoy it and it's just fun, and you deal with the challenges, again, with grace. It's like, Oh, look at this challenge, this sucks today. Okay, and your intuition will guide you on what to do, and how to move through it, and how to not take it on as a quote unquote stressful situation. That's what it means to connect to our inner power, which is, you know, it's not about mental toughness. Mental toughness, the majority of those strategies out there, honestly, they're horrific. The REASON why they're horrific is because they teach you how to suppress emotion instead of process emotion. And it isn't until we learn how to authentically process emotions as they arise, does all of this begin to shift, and heal, and change for somebody. So we have to learn how to process our emotions authentically and connect to our deeper inner presence. We can do that. You'll move through anything in life, and it doesn't mean you won't have challenges. Challenges are there to offer us an opportunity to grow.
“We've all made bad choices. That isn't the truth of who you are, though.” –Rachel Fiori
Shirley Owens: I so agree. So tell me this, I often, I actually love challenges and the word pain to me means something different, right? My son, I have a son that's 23, when he was eight years old, he came running up the street and he was just bleeding all over and as a mom, I panicked and I was like: "Hey, let's get you in the house and get this cleaned up." And he's like: "Mom, mom, stop. Pain, it's just a pain. Pain is just another feeling." And he was eight, he doesn't even remember telling me that now cause I've been having to tell him that lately, sometimes. But I remember from that moment, you know, during national childbirth or whatever, like pain is just, like, actually something that I'm going through that is just like going through any other emotion or feeling and I really have been able to find an enjoyable place in that. And people think I'm weird, but it sounds like kind of what you're saying, you know, I mean, and maybe you can help me put that into better words, but I realized that if we just allow the emotion to come up, and we take that emotion, and we seek to understand why we're feeling that, whether it's remembering that a story was told, or maybe just acknowledging that a story was told that we don't have to go through it the way we think we're supposed to go through it. And how do you see, just being able, I'd love to know what your definition of processing is. How would you process, so say something comes up in me, you know, like a feeling of jealousy and you fill, that and it's horrific, and you attach all these different emotions to whatever happened. What would be your process if you were coaching somebody to say, let me help you walk through this emotion that you're having, or this feeling that you're having this pain.
Rachel Fiori: So the first thing is emotions, the pain, whatever is coming up. Now, the level of intensity of that pain is usually correlated with your level of resistance to embracing the pain. So when we are resistant, it makes the pain that much worse, we add fuel to the fire, right? That's number one, we have to understand that. There are things that are painful in life that the reason why they feel so intense is because this circumstance or situation is actually bringing up old traumas, emotional things that have been unhealed yet, and that's also another reason why pain can feel so intense sometimes. A lot of things are trying to come up with this situation, they're all taking their opportunity to come up, come up, so that you can love me, embrace me, heal me, process me. So we have to understand that as well. So it's not offering resistance like, okay, what do I do to make the pain go away? Well, that's not loving. Like go make yourself feel better and come back when you're super happy. Well, that's not love, that's not unconditional love. So we do that to ourselves all the time, how do I get this pain to go away? Go to the gym, you know, pop the Xanax, do this, do that, and it's like, well, you're actually vilifying the emotional pain instead of loving it. So the first step is to just, Oh, it's always awareness. Oh look at that, I feel like total shit right now. Well, this hurts, right?
“The level of intensity of that pain is usually correlated with your level of resistance to embracing the pain. So when we are resistant, it makes the pain that much worse.” –Rachel Fiori
Shirley Owens: Right.
Rachel Fiori: It's the awareness of it, and then saying, okay, where do you feel that in your body? Most people are going to feel it more commonly in their chest area, in their heart space, or in their stomach, sometimes it'll be in your throat, or your head, it can be anywhere in the body. And you just go to that place and you love it, and you embrace it, you hug it, you'd stop trying to make it go away. The minute you authentically stop trying to make it go away is the minute it starts to organically heal and process. So you have to stop resisting it. The more you resist it, you're not allowing it to actually heal, which means what? You will have situations and circumstances for literally the rest of your human life, while you're alive, that will continue to bring up this unhealed pain, period end, it's that black and white. If you process it, that's truly the transcendence of the emotional energy, that's all it is. You process it fully, that will never come up again. It won't be suppressed, it won't grow, it will not be anything that is left unhealed. So that's the first part, we have to learn how to be with it and allow it to be there, and then we offer our love to it, and what does that even mean? Well, again, we're not loving anything if we want you to go away, that's not loving. So we're sitting with it, or embracing it, we're hugging it, we're loving it, and then we find the aspect of us that is our deeper inner presence, what I refer to as inner presence. Where is that part of you that is actually not in pain at all because we all have that aspect of ourselves. The part that is just observing because you are not your emotions. You have emotions, you experience emotions, you are not emotion yourself.
Shirley Owens: You're right.
Rachel Fiori: What we realize, I take people and teach them through this process and it's a process. You can't learn it in one, you know, podcasts or one session, so I'm kind of given the summary of it, but you're not your emotions, you're just experiencing emotions. So we learned to connect to that deeper inner presence that is stillness that has no pain, and we find where that, Oh, can you also sense that part of yourself that is the stillness, that's power, that's love, that's peace, whatever words work for you that you resonate with. Oh yeah, I sense the part of me that is not in pain at all in this situation, awesome. Then we give all of our focused attention to that part of us, and we sit in that part in that stillness, we give our attention to that stillness, all of your pain naturally, organically, literally transcends however long it takes, who cares? What the hell do you care for? Just sit with your presence and you're fine. You're just observing the miracle in front of you. In a nutshell, that's how emotional presence training works.
“You're not your emotions; you're just experiencing emotions.” –Rachel Fiori
Shirley Owens: That's beautiful. I love that.
Rachel Fiori: And that, you know, literally is remembering who we truly are. That we are this presence, having a human experience. So when we just say, Oh, where's my inner presence? Where's the real me, the true self? We sit with that part of us and then all the pain just heals and transcends, you know, whatever the anger might be about, whatever the resentment, whatever the jealousy may be, you don't have to understand it, you don't have to go back to the stories, you don't even have to heal your inner wounded child, you don't have to do anything. All of it heals on its own, why? When you're connected to the real you, the true self, literally the true self is unconditional love. That means you are sitting and matching the vibrational frequency of unconditional love. And when you sit in, or you are the beingness of unconditional love, everything that is less than love has to entrain. That means the vibrational frequency of anything less than love has to literally energetically change its form in order to meet and match that of love. So when you sit in the power of the truth of who you are, which is love, that's when healing and miracles take place, you don't have to do anything else. You don't have to set an intention, you don't have to do some meditation, you don't have to do yoga for 12 months and try to activate Kundalini energy, you don't have to do anything. You just have to be who you are, it is the remembrance of who you truly are instead of who you've been led to believe you are up until this point in time.
Shirley Owens: Yeah, I really love that. You know, I have a visual in my mind when I do this and for me it's like a straight line, and that's like my alignment with myself, right? And being integrity with myself, and I really am sensitive, and aware of what's going on. And if I start to get out of that alignment, I can feel an uncomfortable--
Rachel Fiori: Yup.
Shirley Owens: --And it really helps me to just like reroute myself, redirect myself right back onto that line again. And so, and we find ourselves in situations every day with, I'm a mom, you know, I'm a friend, I'm a wife, and all the different situations where we start to want a people please, we want to fit into our stories, or we want to, you know, listen to our past emotions and that type of thing coming up. Literally if you can be aware of what you're feeling, you can redirect and correct immediately as soon as that starts coming up. And I really try to practice that, you know, obviously not perfect. Lots of stuff still working through from, you know, a lifetime. But it's so great when you finally can find whatever your visual is like for me, it's just that line and I'm like, Oh, I can tell living off for that, what can I say that's actually me or an integrity with myself, or in align with myself that can put me right back onto that. Cause like you say, when you are in full integrity and love with yourself, it really does make life way easier.
Rachel Fiori: Oh, so much easier. And the beautiful thing about it is EASIER in the highest sense, or in the deepest sense, meaning, you don't have to try to be in integrity. You literally just because that's the truth of who you are anyway.
“You don't have to try to be in integrity. You literally just are because that's the truth of who you are anyway.” –Rachel Fiori
Shirley Owens: Right. So I think about forcing all the time that, you know, in my book, and I talk about that how in the past I either forced myself to be in something that I didn't want to be anymore, or I would try to force the other person be to me, or to treat me the way that I needed them to treat me, or I thought that I needed. And when I was able to let go of that and just be who I am, then happiness just come, it just arises in you and you're like, Oh, wow, I feel happy. What is that feeling like? It's just this pure feeling of what we call happy. And when we talk about celebrities and high profile people, I think that that's a false sense of getting what they want and happiness that we perceive as what it should be. But you and I who have worked with them, we hear about the treacherous amount of, you know, just everything that they're going through that's just so negative. And I think that when they say, Oh, but if I can just get this, I'll be happy. Okay, that didn't make me happy. Well the next thing, if I can just get--
Rachel Fiori: Exactly.
Shirley Owens: --I can just get this, I'll be happy. And it seems like there's this unlimited amount of things that you can get to try to be happy. So talk more about that because I know that you talk about how, when we get what we want because we think that's what we're getting, because that's going to make us feel happy, and loved, and complete. Then when we do that, we cut ourselves off from our own NRP story empower. So talk a little bit about that, cause I really love how you put that.
Rachel Fiori: Yeah. So, you know, it's such a fascinating thing that we are so conditioned to, but you've put it beautifully like, Oh, if I just get this one more thing, if I just make more money, if I just get more successful, if I justify, justify just, well stop and look back and say, how do you feel? How much joy, love, peace, literally harmony do you feel in your life with everything you've achieved so far. And so all we're doing is spinning in that wheel of suffering and we're contributing to manifesting that more and more and more because we don't realize, it doesn't matter what you have out there, what you've experienced, the true joy does come from within. What does that really mean though? Because don't we get sick of hearing that out there from all the teachers and coaches, right? But it's like okay, that sounds great and all, but how do you really get that? And it's through the process of, you know, like the coaching that I offer literally is teaching you the process of remembering who you truly are. And so when you go for that, you know, acting gig could be the one, or you're already really successful, but you're trying not to fall out into the background and be forgotten. It's, you know, connecting to your divine in a presence, remembering who you truly are means, Oh, well I had a failure, or I stumbled and I fell, it's not a failure. You had to gain some skills, some knowledge, some something from that. So when you are actually connected to your true self instead of your false self, you just literally take it as that and then life is freaking easy. It doesn't mean you'll never fail at anything ever again. It means, Oh, well that was a wash, okay, I was meant to learn in this way, or gain these skills and that is freaking awesome because now I'm more powerful to move to my next venture. And so, even just the way you perceive life when it's offered to you, it's so different, it's so powerful, it's no longer forced. You're open to receiving the wisdom, the guidance, the growth, the skills, the tools that make you a more magnificent version of you every step of the way instead of contracting, and getting smaller, and getting more intense in your, you know, anxiety, or depression, or whatever it is, your priorities have changed. Your true self is shining forth, and the true self doesn't mean you're never going to stumble and fall, it's like, Oh, look at that, I just fell and I totally skinned my knee, and I'm bleeding. Like your example earlier and it's like, wow, okay, what was I meant to learn? What skills do I need? Who am I being challenged to become based on this situation? And then you grow into becoming a more magnificent version of you and it is beautiful along the way.
Shirley Owens: So do you realize, and do you see a lot of your clients that are celebrities that are high profile individuals. Once they work with you and you get past, when you get through some of this and teach them how to be more of who they are, are you noticing that harder and harder things are coming to them and happening to them, but they're going through them with more and more ease.
Rachel Fiori: So it's this difference in perception of Oh, my God, this is so hard, this is horrible. What the hell do I do? There's no longer that those conditioned reactions. Instead, there was this beautiful powerful response. It's all, well look what was offered to me today. And it might be something that, you know, we can say, Oh, this sucks. It totally sucks. Like, Oh gosh, okay, I'd rather not go through this, but it's like, okay, let me connect to my inner presence because I know I've mastered that, I know how to do it now, and anything that comes, it's just, Oh, I'm growing through this now. And it's just a powerful experience instead of a terrible experience. You can grow and become more powerful, more peaceful, more loving, more abundant in every way, no matter what is offered to you, no matter what the universe gives to you. So it isn't necessarily that, it isn't accurate to say things, quote unquote, get harder because the truth is life was already so hard, or you wouldn't be suffering. It was already so hard, or you wouldn't be in depression, or suicidal, or fill in the blank, life gets easier and easier. And again, it doesn't mean you won't get another challenge. We're here to experience challenges in life. It's just that now, challenges don't knock you into depression, or a battle being, you know, those suicidal thoughts that start coming, or panic attacks, or whatever it might be for you, or destroy your relationship, or whatever. It's okay, I can just process my emotions as they arise. Remember my divine enterprise, just connect to that inner presence and life is just that easy. Challenges are just that easy moving forward. It's a level of self love that most people don't experience or offer to themselves.
Shirley Owens: And do you find, that's beautiful, by the way, do you find that gratitude plays a huge part in this?
Rachel Fiori: I love this question, so I'm going to say two things about that. The easy answer to that is yes, the deeper, offer a little spiritual teaching here, it is true when we hear in gratitude is of a very high frequency, but guess what? When you're functioning at a low frequency, you're struggling with your stress, you're overwhelmed, your depression, your whatever. You are not a match to gratitude. So to attempt to feel gratitude, you will fail.
Shirley Owens: I agree.
Rachel Fiori: Yes, it's there's no, it's like, okay, but I'm actually feeling all of this emotional pain and you want me to then say, Oh, I'm so grateful for what the air I breathe, like, what the hell? People that teach that, they have a lot of misunderstandings and unfortunately it allows people to actually remain in their struggles, their emotional suffering.
Shirley Owens: If not even go down further, right? Because--
Rachel Fiori: Yes.
Shirley Owens: --the idea of gratitude turns into another negative emotion.
Rachel Fiori: Exactly. Because I'm not feeling it and then their shame around it, like I should feel Oh, my God, I know I should be in gratitude, but I'm in pain, no, no, no, no, timeout. Here's what happens, you learn how to authentically process the emotions as they arise. That means they transcend all on their own. That means permanent healing. They'd go away permanently. They are no longer a part of you once they are transcended like that. So when you learn the process of authentic emotional processing, guess what happens? You naturally organically raise in your vibrational frequency, it's not something you have to achieve, or strive for, or learn how to do, or force it because you'll never force it, if you'll fail 100% at the time, and then guess what happens? Gratitude, naturally, you start to feel, Oh my God, I'm feeling so much gratitude right now. It's natural, it's organic. That's the miracle of it.
Shirley Owens: That's what happiness feels like.
Rachel Fiori: Yeah, that's what true joy feels like.
Shirley Owens: Yeah, I love that because I know the difference. I have been in both places and I love that, I just, I don't have to say, Oh, what am I grateful for today? I'll just be like, Oh wow, that feels great. Oh, I'm so grateful for this. And the sky is blue and that just feels good and everything--
Rachel Fiori: Yes.
Shirley Owens: --everything just feels good. And I love when I recognize, just in the middle of my day, I'm just so grateful for this house that I live in, or I'm grateful for my husband, or you know, you don't even, it's not something that you have to think about.
Rachel Fiori: No, you don't have to keep a gratitude journal. You don't have to write three things, or 23 things that you're grateful for every single day, that's forcing. I never coach my clients to do any of that. It's honestly, it's a load of crap and it is a waste of time, and it can often, depending on the person, it can make them spiral down worse into feeling even worse. So it's like, no, just process the emotions as they arise and connect your inner presence, and guess what? It all happens organically for you. It is that freaking simple. And then suddenly, just like you said so beautifully, you literally will be like, Oh my God, I'm so grateful for the air I breathe. It happens naturally, Oh my God, I love my husband, my partner, my wife, whoever for, whatever. It's just naturally, you really vibrate at the frequency of gratitude, and it's organic, you don't have to try. That's the beauty of it.
Shirley Owens: It really is. So you and I are having this understanding, right? And we're both smiling, I can feel it, and like, Oh, I wish everyone could just feel it's feeling. What is one word, or action, or something of advice that you can give our listeners who may be going this, no, this is not real, it's not attainable, I know how I feel, and life just sucks for me. Like what's the one thing that you could do to get their mind just considering even the possibility of what we're talking about.
Rachel Fiori: So the only thing that I can say, because there is no such thing as fake it till you make it. I come from a level of authenticity, I don't buy into any of that crap, I don't coach any of that crap. It's feel it for yourself and get a coach who really knows this stuff. And if you're really wanting to be, okay, prove me wrong, let me, you're not ready to heal. So guess what? If you want somebody to try, I don't mark it, I don't try to talk you in, I don't try to make you believe anything, I don't care what your beliefs are. You're perfect as you are with your beliefs, I don't give two craps what your beliefs are. I'm not here to convince you, I'm here to guide you to self empowerment so that you can heal, and see it, and experience it for yourself. That's a whole nother level of coaching. If you need to be convinced, that's okay, there's no judgment but you're actually not ready to heal. You're holding on so strongly to your convictions and your beliefs. They are patterns and programming that's running that's filled with self sabotage, and that's okay. If you really want emotional freedom, you're going to be willing to learn the process and do the work. Just like, if you want to be a professional basketball player, football player, baseball player, whatever you want to go to the Olympics, or you really do want to be CEO of a startup company, you want it to be a multibillion dollar business, if you really want those things, you put in the effort to do it, it's that simple. So you don't achieve success by doing nothing, or by meditating all day long and setting your intentions. You don't get it that way either, you have to take action and as well as being in alignment with things. So the bottom line is, I'm not here to convince anybody of anything. If you want to truly heal and experience emotional freedom, you will learn this for yourself and you will literally experience it as you're guided through it. You will feel the truth in it, and it isn't my truth, it's your truth. It isn't some belief, cause that's not how I were, I don't function in beliefs, it's a divine truth. So it's an experience, when you feel the emotional freedom, you will literally just be emotionally free. You won't think you are, you will be it, and that's the difference.
“When you feel the emotional freedom… you won't think you are, you will be it and that's the difference.” –Rachel Fiori
Shirley Owens: I love that. One thing I wanted to mention is, you know, we are talking about celebrities and high profile individuals because there is a kind of get what you want factor in the world of wanting those things. This really isn't specific to them. Like, you know, this learning process does all over. I do see with like the high profile people that to me they're super human. They have like crazy abilities to, you know, run faster, work harder, and that comes from the stories that they were told.
Rachel Fiori: Yes.
Shirley Owens: Always. And so a lot of times their conditioning has been even stronger, or harder, or just in a different way to where they're deconditioning into deprogramming and coming back to themselves takes a lot more effort. But they have it in them because they did it in the first place the other way. And so, if somebody out there listening today and they are high profile, they are a celebrity, or they are any walk of life, and they really want to, and they're ready to master their selves, tell them how they can get in touch with you.
Rachel Fiori: You can email me directly at themastersofself@gmail.com, shoot me an email. I'm very easy to get ahold of. You can email me, you can contact me through my website, themastersofself.com, but the easiest way is literally just email me. We get on the phone, I do a quick free consultation, I find out what you would like to heal from, and then I see how I can help you, and we move forward from there. Easiest way, shoot me an email, themastersofself@gmail.com, and I'm here to guide you to self-empowerment and emotional freedom.
Shirley Owens: Thank you, Rachel. You really do seem to be a master at this and I love it. I love talking to you, I love all of your insight, so thanks so much for being on my Get What You Want Podcasts today.
Rachel Fiori: Thank you so much for your time. I appreciate it so much. It was so delightful to talk to you, Shirley. I think you are wonderful and amazing, and I really appreciated being a guest today.
Shirley Owens: Thank you, and thank you to my listeners. Remember, when you change your perspective, you change your reality.
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