“Don’t be scared to move forward because the moment you decide to move forward, everything that you need will be there to build your confidence, to build your career, to build your dream life.” -Daniel Gomez
True confidence goes beyond your words. Some people stand on ego instead of confidence, while others never achieve their dreams from lack of it. Today, Shirley and Confidence Architect, Daniel Gomez discuss how to get what you want by building and reinventing your confidence. They talk about the factors that affect confidence: identity, alignment, and mindset. Sometimes, we undervalue ourselves not knowing that it sabotages our confidence in the process. Tune in to hear how confidence is achievable for anyone.
Highlights:
03:16 What It’s All About
05:41 False Confidence
10:49 Confidence and Identity
16:21 Confidence and Alignment
18:00 Reinvent Your Confidence
25:49 Confidence and Scarcity Mindset
30:43 How To Build Confidence
41:18 Move Forward With Confidence
Resources:
Book
Foundation
Freebies
Tweets:
Are you confident enough? Tune in as @SfbaldwinOwens and @danielInspires discuss how to move forward with oozing confidence! #getwhatyouwant #confidence #falseconfidence #identity #takeaction #alignment #justbeyou #mindsetshift
Quotes:
03:36 “The title's not going to get you more opportunities- it's who you are in your heart.” -Daniel Gomez
07:47 “The confidence comes into competency, right? When you're competent in something, your confidence builds up.” -Daniel Gomez
08:02 “Build on your strengths because your strengths are going to get you to where you need to be.” -Daniel Gomez
10:47 “Whenever you lose your identity, you lose your confidence.” -Daniel Gomez
25:35 “You don’t have to have every single thing perfect in something to be what you imagined it to be.” -Shirley Owens
26:10 “What are you going to pivot to if you don’t know where you’re pivoting from?”-Daniel Gomez
26:46 “When you undervalue who you are, you miss hundreds and thousands of opportunities that are around you every single day.” -Daniel Gomez
29:37 “Confidence is a mindset- It can be developed. It can be strengthened. It can be in any aspect of your life.” -Daniel Gomez
40:52 “When you start to love and believe in yourself, you start to build up confidence.” -Daniel Gomez
41:44 “Don’t be scared to move forward because the moment you decide to move forward, everything that you need will be there to build your confidence, to build your career, to build your dream life.” -Daniel Gomez
Connect With Daniel:
Daniel Gomez is an Award-Winning Business Strategist, Corporate Trainer and Confidence Architect, and the President/Founder of Daniel Gomez Enterprises. Daniel speaks and coaches events all over the world. His passion is to elevate businesses and entrepreneurs to achieve their true potential through training and coaching programs. Daniel has empowered his clients to build epic success in their personal and professional lives. He is the International Best-Selling Author of You Were Born to Fly, a book written to inspire and give people the high-performance habits and confidence needed to be leaders of their own destiny. Daniel’s high-energy and ability to unlock the untapped potential in people have made him a highly sought-out speaker and trainer for top organizations including the U.S. Air Force. He was honored with the Best of 2019 Award for his Confidence Coaching and Business Strategies. He and his wife, Mari Gomez, believe in giving back and supporting women whose lives have been impacted by breast cancer through their Non-Profit, the Mari Strong Foundation. Daniel is a true professional and easy to work with.
Transcriptions
Shirley Owens: My guest today is Daniel Gomez. Daniel is an Award-Winning business strategists, Corporate Trainer and Confidence Architect, and the president/founder of Daniel Gomez Enterprises. Daniel speaks and coaches events all over the world. His passion is to elevate businesses and entrepreneurs to achieve their true potential through training and coaching programs. Daniel has empowered his clients to build epic success in their personal and professional lives. He is the International Best-Selling Author of "You Were Born to Fly," a book written to inspire and give people the high performance habits and confidence needed to be leaders of their own destiny. Daniel’s high-energy and ability to unlock the untapped potential in people have made him a highly sought-out speaker and trainer for top organizations including the U.S. Air Force. He was honored with the Best of 2019 Award for his Confidence Coaching and Business Strategies. He and his wife, Mari Gomez, believe in giving back and supporting women whose lives have been impacted by breast cancer through their 501(c)(3) Non-Profit the Mari Strong Foundation. Daniel is a true professional and easy to work with. Hey Daniel!
Daniel Gomez: You know what, Shirley, I'm super excited to be on your show. What an honor. Thank you so much for inviting me. I haven't really had a chance to really reflect, but man, we have some amazing memories from the New Media Summit when we first went there together, didn't we?
Shirley Owens: We did. And the thing that I remember the most is your high energy, which is awesome because I kind of laughed when I was giving your bio. You were just like every morning, ready to go, happy, cheering everybody on, and definitely helped me get the confidence that I needed when I was up pitching my business and that type of thing. So I was super grateful to have you there and to meet you. And I'm really, actually, I'm the honored one to have you here today. So thanks so much for agreeing to be on my show.
Daniel Gomez: No, I love it. I love it. I love, I think you have a great, great presence in your heart, sincere, and I love to serve and give value where people believe in serving and giving value. And I believe that's you Shirley, so let's do it. I'm ready to rock and roll. Boom, baby.
Shirley Owens: This is going to be fun. Thanks so much. Okay, where do we even start? I know that you have the Speaking Academy. I know you've been seen on CVS, Fox, NBC, ABC, people know who you are. And I want my listeners that don't know who you are to know about you. So start wherever you want to start, and start telling me about you.
Daniel Gomez: I think it boils down to this. I love people. And that's what it's about. When you genuinely love people, and you love adding value to people, I think that's a big part that most entrepreneurs and small businesses miss. Because it's about your customer, it's about the people you serve. And that's what I'm about. The title's not going to get you more opportunities, it's who you are in your heart. And Daniel Gomez is an amazing family man. My wife just came out of her two and a half year journey with breast cancer and that really changed my life. So it really helped me to become a more loving, more caring person. Not that I wasn't more loving or caring, but you can always grow. And I think when you decide to realize that, Hey, there's another better version of myself out there that's dying to me to come out into this world, that's who I am. I just really love to help people. And that being said, I do that through my motivational keynote speaking. I'm an Award-Winning Motivational Keynote Speaker. I'm a Corporate Trainer. I go into corporations like AT&T and Gold's Gym. I've even trained the United States Air Force like you mentioned. But my true heart, I love to do is confidence coaching. I'm a Confidence Architect. Because most people, they don't live up to their true potential. And it just breaks my heart when I see a person that undervalues themselves. Because when they undervalue themselves, it just doesn't affect them, it affects the people around them.
“The title's not going to get you more opportunities- it's who you are in your heart.” -Daniel Gomez
Shirley Owens: Yeah, I agree. I do see you as I get this confidence architect thing in you because I remember when we met, and I remember you cheering everybody on. And one of the things that you had said to me was: "You're going to do so great. I can tell God has a plan for you, you're going to be amazing. And you have so much going for you." And I remember thinking, I do? Wait, me? And I remember thinking, what is it that Daniel sees in me that I'm not seeing myself. So I'm sure that people come to you all the time. Everybody wants more confidence, right? So when someone comes to you and they're like, Daniel, I need confidence. Whether it's speaking, or whether it's being a podcast, or whether just showing up in your everyday life, what is it that you start with when someone comes to you and says, I need confidence. Because that's a huge thing that a lot of people don't have right now.
Daniel Gomez: That's a very valid point that you just made, and everybody's unique. So the one thing I say, because you always meet those people that have a big ego and are pretty, what's the word, narcissist, I don't have any confidence issues. It's funny when you meet somebody like that, they are the ones with the biggest issues.
Shirley Owens: For sure.
Daniel Gomez: You've met some of those, right? But I say that in all seriousness, because those portray, I'll never forget. To give you a good example, I was at this one time and we were with their employee, I did a self assessment, we agreed to do a self assessment. So we did a self assessment on about 12 people in leadership. And this one lady, she was a female. And it's just like: "Well, I'm very confident." That's the first thing she says. I'm like, okay, there's something here. I just can't see it yet. So the more we talk, I said: "You know what your problem is. You know what you're [inaudible]?" She's like: "What's that?" I said: "You have a false self confidence." She goes: "What do you mean?" I go: "Yeah, you have a false self confidence." And I don't think nobody's ever told her that because she put up this defense of confidence and made egotistic so no one ever got behind her. And as we got into the session, it turns out that she had a real close friend of hers that as they were growing up in high school, her friend would always ridicule her and make her feel less. And what really broke her heart was when she told her, her friend: "You know what? I'm pregnant." And now she wants to get married to her husband. And she goes, I'll never forget that, her friend said, why you want to do something stupid like that. And that just shattered her heart inside. She goes: "But I never said nothing. And ever since then, I guess I put up a shield." But she was, this was a pretty powerful session and she cried through that. But I say that because everybody has a part of their life that they're not competent at.
Shirley Owens: Oh, for sure.
“Build on your strengths because your strengths are going to get you to where you need to be.” -Daniel Gomez
Daniel Gomez: The confidence comes into competency, right? When you're competent in something, your confidence builds up. And what we don't realize is that there's always an area of improvement that we can improve ourselves on. And I'm not saying work on your weaknesses, build on your strengths because your strengths are going to get you to where you need to be. But I will say this that there is an area in our life, which is either, your health, your wellness, then you got your finances, and then you got your relationships, and then you have just who you are. And there's an area of your life that everybody needs a little bit more confidence. So when somebody says, I don't need no confidence. I said: "Well, is there an area of your life that you want to improve?" And they're like: "You know what? There is." But that's what they hide behind their defensive soul so I've learned to pick up on that pretty good. So I say, when somebody comes to me and they are honest about it, it's easy to do that. But sometimes people don't realize that false self confidence really keeps them from advancing and growing in life. And that's what I try to really open her eyes to say: "You know? This is what you need to work on." Or "this is what's going on." And they're like: "I never saw it before."
“The confidence comes into competency, right? When you're competent in something, your confidence builds up.” -Daniel Gomez
Shirley Owens: Yeah, I get that because I work with a ton of high achieving individuals. These people have something that they're not just good at. They're super human at it. Whether it be being a doctor, or a professional athlete, or a celebrity of some sort. And something that I've realized is that what happens when those people no longer have the thing that made them everything they are. Like you're saying, this comments, I see that very easily because this is what happens. Say a professional athlete his whole life, he played baseball, made it to the majors was always the best, always the best since eight years old, the best, the best, the best. And then they developed this confidence that's around that. And they come across as strong, and egotistical, and confident. And then one day, I get a phone call and their whole life is crashing down around them. And it's because, Oh, I didn't learn how to be a husband. I didn't learn how to be a father. I didn't learn how to run a business. I didn't learn how to have a regular job. There's all these things in their life where they were suffering. And because once they tap into those areas, they realize that they have no confidence in those areas. Their comfort confidence on the field comes down too because they tap into who they really are. What I understand that you do is you build the confidence as a whole person so that they can take that into all the areas of their life.
Daniel Gomez: Yeah, for sure. The one thing we don't realize is that most people, they stayed, like you just said. So whenever you lose your identity, you lose your confidence. And I'm going to say this because I believe in being totally transparent. When my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and we started this journey, I made the decision to become an entrepreneur, to become a keynote speaker, and then a corporate trainer. I felt lost because there was a part of me that I didn't like. And I didn't have a false self confidence. I was just that ambitious egoistic guy. Does that make sense? And I didn't like it. So when my wife was recovering, because she had her double mastectomy, Shirley. I found myself just watching TV for the first week. I was like, well, this ain't gonna work, because all this crap on TV is negative, right? It just wasn't working. So I ended up, I dunno how I came across Think and Grow Rich for the second time, I read it, I went and bought it actually. And I just was drawn to it. So as I was reading it, I was like the chapter on desire spoke to me. And I was like, I want to do this. So I went through Google, I don't know why, and I googled chief definite purpose, chief definite aim, just to see who would come up. And Bruce Lee came up. I found Bruce Lee's Chief Definite Aim. And Bruce Lee's chief definite aim said: "I, Bruce Lee, will be the highest paid Oriental actor in the 1980's. I will be making $10 million a year." And I was like, wow, Bruce Lee. When I was a little kid, I was a kid. I have Bruce Lee's posters all over the place 40 years ago. That was me.
“Whenever you lose your identity, you lose your confidence.” -Daniel Gomez
Shirley Owens: Believe it or not, that was me too.
Daniel Gomez: But I say that because as I got motivated to make this transition out of corporate America and into a business owner, I looked in the mirror and the more I saw myself, I didn't like myself. The busy-ness of running a dealership, the business of inventory, the business of employees. And then like I mentioned, my wife had a double mastectomy, so we weren't going anywhere. There was no business, friends, seven layers of my life were gone. All the business was gone. It was just Daniel Gomez. And then Daniel Gomez [inaudible]. But I didn't like him so much. As I tried to stray away from that identity, that person that I had become, arrogant is a word I would say, because I would, I don't say this, I say this because it's not a good thing, but I was very financially successful. And because of that, I was able to take care of my wife. But I always bought my kids things, but sometimes they just want to -- stuff. They don't want things, they want time with their dad. So I asked God to help me because I didn't make that person. But there was about a three month period where I lost my confidence because the confidence that I did have was an arrogant confidence.
Shirley Owens: Yeah.
Daniel Gomez: And I said: "God, this isn't working right." Because I was starting my business, but I wanted to be Mr. Nice Guy. But you can't be Mr. Nice Guy and owned a business. You can be, but the bottom line is no business, doesn't care what type of business it is, if you don't have any sales, you're not going to make it. But every time I tried to go and do a presentation, or seal a deal, close a deal, I would think of Daniel Gomez, the arrogant one. And I struggled with potty for about three or four months. And finally I said: "God, this isn't working. I don't want to be that Butt-Head, but I need some business." And at that moment, that's when I heard the whisper that, "I am your confidence." God is my confidence. And everything just changed. And it did take a process. And I say that because, somebody is going to say, well, what makes you the Confidence Architect? Well, because I am the story of the guy who was a butt-head, arrogant leader that everybody catered to, had a lot of power and I abused it, and I was broken down into nothing. And I had to rebuild that confidence the right way. This time of "Godly Confidence" is what I call it. So I know what it's like. I know what it takes to get from point A to point B, and then to create and build a very successful business to where you're profitable. And right now, before we start online, we were talking about the Speaking Academy. And I bring that up because I got an intuition I could have bought a month ago to start the Speaking Academy. And I was like, God, I was Speaking Academy, you're crazy. Who's going to come? Well, it's a high ticket item. And I say that because you get a lot of value, you get a speaker reel, you get to speak on a stage. I mean, because most speakers mess up because they're just a speaker. They don't create a speaking business.
Shirley Owens: Right.
Daniel Gomez: Because the average ticket is around $2,000 per person. And once I took action, Shirley, I sold like three tickets the first couple of days, just like that, boom.
Shirley Owens: That's awesome.
Daniel Gomez: Yeah. But I say that because I had to have the confidence to know that, Hey, you got to take action. And I can honestly say, if I didn't have that Godly confidence, I wouldn't be here talking to you with the confidence that I have right now.
Shirley Owens: Something that I've learned over the years that I've really grown attached to is "alignment," aligned with ourselves. I remember talking to somebody about speaking and I had been asked to be one of four keynote speakers at an event at 400 people, and I was the only female. And they asked me to speak on some pretty sensitive subjects. I was really nervous about it. I was nervous, how am I going to look? How am I going to sound? Or am I going to sound smart? Am I going to come across? Are they going to like what I say? All this stuff. And I remember this person saying to me: "Just be you. Just be you. Because when you are you, it doesn't matter if you speak in front of one person or in front of 10,000 people, it's going to come across as this beautiful, confident you." Because when we are aligned with ourselves, with everything about ourselves, and we know who we are inside and out, we know what our gifts are, God given gifts, gifts from the universe, whatever people want to say about it. When we know who we are, and what we stand for, and what we believe, we are completely aligned with that all we have to do is just be us. There's so much that comes with that. And I don't necessarily think that I'm the most confident person in the world. But people say to me all the time, you're so confident. You speak so confidently. And I think, what even is that? But what I have come to find that my confidence looks like is alignment.
Daniel Gomez: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I love that you said that because it goes back to identity. At some point or another, we're all gonna lose our identity in the fact that whether it's through the loss of a mother, the loss of a father, the loss of a job, that's part of our identity. And that's part of our alignment. And I say that because when you lose your job, you lose your identity, especially if you have a title, you lose your confidence. If you lose your parents, should I lose that confidence of having that security blanket to say like, that's my mom and dad. And at some point, we all go through that. And we all going to need to reinvent our confidence is a good way to put it. That's one thing that I love doing and helping people do it. And one thing that I'll say is, for instance, I deal with a lot of business owners and when they come, one thing that I see is they lose their confidence because they stopped doing what they did to win that hunger. They had that burning desire, that hunger to be the best to go out there and really make it happen. It's like all the things that they did to get that successful automotive repair shop, they stopped doing it because they reached a place of financial success in neural thinking in their own belief system and their core belief. And then they stopped doing those things. And then, well, guess what? You sabotage yourself when you start regressing instead of progressing. Then you lose your confidence. Then you start making mistakes because these are, A, you don't take action. Or B, you may actually take actions out of desperation. And that really just can kill your confidence.
Shirley Owens: Yeah. So what would you say, like I said, when I get on a stage to speak, or up in front of people and I'm speaking, I just tap back into who I am, what I believe in, and it's always the same. For me, I'm just speaking from my heart. I'm being me. What would you say? So that would be like my advice if I was giving that to somebody who's going on stage, what is something that you would say to someone that first comes to you, or at your Speaker Academy, what is the thing that you have people do or tap into that has them able to speak better?
Daniel Gomez: It's all about mindset. It's all about positioning yourself as that paid professional speaker. And when you develop that speaker mindset, that professional speaker mindset, that's when everything changes. Because I train you and I show you how to make that mindset shift, and really see yourself as that authority in that industry, in that speaking lane. Because this is what happens when people leave, just stay at a corporate job, any nine to five job, they leave that job and they have an employee mindset. And over 90% of businesses fail because they never develop a business mindset. And then five years later, another over 90% fell because, once again, they still have that employee mindset. So where I really go in there is I really help them to recreate their mind to where they see themselves as a successful speaker and to where they really believe it in their core. Because when you believe in your core, nothing can stop. You're unstoppable. But the thing is this, because I went through this myself at some point, at some level of your success, you're going to fall into that imposter syndrome or fraudulent complex, whichever one you want to call it. Because I'll never forget, when I spoke on stage with Tom Bilyeu, man, that was probably one of the highlights of my life. Man, this guy is like a billionaire, impact theory, boom this dude, I like it. I'm going to have pictures with this guy. Well, about a week later, I wasn't myself and I couldn't understand why, but it's because my mindset wasn't prepared. I didn't have the capacity to receive all the good that had just come into my life. And that's where most speakers mess up. So I prepare them ahead of time to create the capacity that they need to truly be a successful speaker.
Shirley Owens: Okay. So this reminds me of something that happened at my house this week. My 16 year old son comes out of his room and he says: "Mom, I figured out, I figured out what's going on with me." And he's 16. But he lives in my house so we're always having these deep discussions. So he comes out and he's like: "I figured out what's going on with me. I have imposter syndrome." And I'm like: "Really? You figured that out. So talk to me about it." Well, he is a musician. He doesn't read notes, but he can play by ear in 10 to 15 minutes. He can learn an entire song on the piano, or the guitar, or just give him an instrument and he learns the instrument, learns the song. Sounds like he's really good at it, but he doesn't read music. He's also a gamer. He does very well at video games, but he's not the best. He's also a skateboarder, but he crashed and sprained his ankle a couple months ago. He's a ballroom dancer. He's a thespian, he had a lead role in his school play but he says to me: "You know when you say that I'm a thespian, or you say I'm a ballroom dancer, or you say I'm a musician, or a gamer, or a boarder, I don't feel like I'm any of those things because I can't read notes, I sprained my ankle, I just lost on this game." He did very well, but he's like: "I've only been in two plays and only one of them was the lead role. I've only been ballroom dancing for this many years." You know, even though he's one of the head choreographers, he has got this place in his mind where he realizes that he doesn't promote himself or try to continue to excel in those things because he thinks that he's not good enough. So it was a really deep conversation that we were having and he used the word imposter syndrome. So the fact that my 16 years old looks up reasons why he doesn't feel that he's a musician, or doesn't feel that he's the best man, or whatever I thought was super impressive in itself that he found this word. But as we went deeper, I realized that this happened to me for a year and a half after I wrote my book. I would tell people: "Well, I'm not a writer. I just published a book." I'm not a writer though. Why would I say that? Because I published a book?
Daniel Gomez: Yeah. In reality, you are.
Shirley Owens: I had to have someone say, look, you have a book that was a bestseller in eight countries on five different platforms. You are an author, which means you are a writer because you wrote a book. And even now it's like, I'm not a podcaster. I'm somebody who has a podcast. I'm not a speaker, although I speak on stages. We get in that mindset of not good enough, which is literally the entire world's problem. We all come from that place. So I see what you're saying about that is you help them to realize, you're the guy that tells me: "You're a writer because you wrote a book and it got published." So it's funny because I'm trying to tell my son this: "You write music, you play music, you play by ear, it doesn't matter that you don't read notes. You don't have to have every single thing perfect in something to be what you imagine it to be."
“You don’t have to have every single thing perfect in something to be what you imagined it to be.” -Shirley Owens
Daniel Gomez: You said something that was huge. You just triggered a thought of me, and all that comes from a scarcity mindset.
Shirley Owens: Yes.
Daniel Gomez: But people don't realize. So when people hear about the scarcity mindset, I see a lot of people out there that just follow the path. Right now, what's going on, everybody's using the word PIVOT. You've got to pivot. People saying the word "pivot" don't even know what the heck it means. They can't get their business going the right way to begin with. What are you going to pivot to if you don't know what you're pivoting from.
“What are you going to pivot to if you don’t know where you’re pivoting from?”-Daniel Gomez
Shirley Owens: Right.
Daniel Gomez: They're saying it to be cool. And the same thing goes with scarcity, Oh, you got a scarcity mindset. Well, okay. Well, what's a scarcity mindset? And many people say that, don't even realize that half their life is still in scarcity. And it's not just about finances, it's not just about money, but I want to put this out there. Because when you have a scarcity mindset, you undervalue who you are. And when you undervalue who you are with that scarcity mindset, yes, it has to do with money and finances but it has more to do with that scarcity mindset. When you undervalue who you are, you miss the hundreds and thousands of opportunities that are around you every single day, because you don't see them because you lack that scarcity, you lack that abundance mindset, you see it. When we started talking, you said something that was huge. You walked into this New Media Summit with amazing people around you, but you didn't even realize it. And because you open up your mind to it, you got out of that scarcity mindset. You made some incredible relationships. But just imagine, just imagine if you walk into every scenario, every podcast, everything and you say, you know what? I'm expecting a miracle today. Something great's going to happen to me today. Just imagine once your expectancy changes, Shirley, everything changes once you change your expectancy. Because most of us, we undervalue ourselves. We undervalue what we expect for our own selves every single day.
“When you undervalue who you are, you miss hundreds and thousands of opportunities that are around you every single day.” -Daniel Gomez
Shirley Owens: I agree. I agree. And I think that when we can change our mindset to not have expectations, I walked into the New Media Summit with zero expectations. I had no clue what I was walking into, zero. And when I could walk into that with that mind, without having any expectations, what I saw and what I got from it, it was just what it was. I didn't have any preconceived notions. Everything that I got from it was absolutely amazing. And like you said, the relationships that I made, the knowledge that I gained, the network that I have, that ability to now speak to the world, I got all of this from this because I walked in with no expectations except for that I was going to be the best me.
Daniel Gomez: Yes, yes. And the thing is when you have low expectations, low expectancy, it affects your self esteem and you lose your confidence in some parts because you want to walk into a place knowing that, Hey, I'm good enough. And most people, like you said, and there's a story behind it. If you really research it, the amazing part is that you're right. 98% of human beings come from that scarcity mindset that's why most of the wealth is controlled by the top 2% of people in the world because you lack that abundance of increased thinking. But once you do that shift, like I mentioned right now during this season, I've been able to sell 11 tickets to my Speaker Academy and people are like, yes, they're losing their job. But when you come from a place of increase, you attract those opportunities and they come to you.
Shirley Owens: Yes.
Daniel Gomez: So definitely awesome. Yeah, but I just want people out there to really know that confidence is a mindset and it can be developed, it can be strengthened and it can be in any aspect of your life and in your area. You can definitely create that confidence mindset that's going to help you to elevate your life and your business. Or maybe you're not an entrepreneur, which is cool. It's not for everybody. But to elevate your career because there's always another level inside of all of this. That's what I want people to realize.
“Confidence is a mindset- It can be developed. It can be strengthened. It can be in any aspect of your life.” -Daniel Gomez
Shirley Owens: Yeah. And I always say "who we're being in our relationships is how we create whatever." That triggers how other people respond, how they act and react to us as by who we're being. And when we're being confident, we attract and people respond confidently, and an entire different scenario is created. So I just want to ask you a question, if with my listeners today, let's say that every single one of them probably have a different area of their life, or at least one area of their life that they want to be more confident in, what would be one word of advice that you could give today that they could start today to going towards moving towards confidence.
Daniel Gomez: Okay. So everything reproduces after its own kind. Remember that everything in this world reproduces after its own kind, that's a law of momentum. So think right now. Here in San Antonio, a lot of these businesses are closed and some of them even look like they're going out of business. So if that doesn't change, then it's gonna go out of business. But once the doors open up, the view changes. Everything changes because, what it's about, it's a different paradigm. So I say that because you need to change the way you're representing yourself. First impressions are everything. So to answer your question, everything we're reproducing after its own kind. So if you just say, you want to get more fit. Say you're like my age, I'm 46, and I think I'm in pretty decent health. Let's say you're 46 like me, and maybe you're 40 pounds overweight. What's reproducing after its own self within your own life? If you go to the grocery store and you're buying the food that doesn't support you, well, then you need to stop reproducing the wrong food every single day. If you're sitting down and you're watching TV, and binge watching there was any need to stop reproducing that because that's the momentum you're going towards. So what's one action item that I can do that's going to take me to where I need to go? It doesn't matter what we have, but we don't apply the knowledge that we have. But we don't take action? We're not going to get to where we want to go. So that's the first step, TAKE ACTION. And then after you take that first step of action, which is the most hardest, crucial piece of anything just taking that first step. That first action and then I would say be consistent for six months. You gotta be consistent for six months because the same way you woke up and your pants didn't fit you, that didn't happen overnight. It was a process that got you there to where your clothes no longer fit you. And I say this because I went through this myself. So the moment you decide, after you decide, you take action. And after you take action, you're consistent for six months and you have that burning desire, that hunger in yourself to do that, that's going to build the confidence to get you out of any situation you're in because you're creating a new teen that you're building your self on.
Shirley Owens: I love it. So then the other question I like to ask my guests is, is there anything in your life or in your backstory that you regret or would do differently?
Daniel Gomez: Oh, yeah. I was a total butt-head for many years to my wife. Yeah, I was a, if I had to grade myself as a husband, I would say I was, I wasn't a failure because like my wife said, we had this conversation actually, because I had to forgive myself for a lot of things. I carried some shame and guilt for some things that I've done. But I would say to me, I would have told myself like a C+ but my wife said, no, you're [inaudible] A+. She said: "You would have probably been like a B." And I didn't see myself as a B. And I say that because even though I did a lot of things wrong, now I did a lot of things right. Because a big part of it is not walking out on your wife when she's diagnosed with breast cancer. When I realized, we went to a conference, and a doctor got a ward nurse, she was a breast cancer survivor. And she actually really touched my heart. She said: "I want to give this a word to my husband because he didn't leave me. A lot of breast cancer patients are left by their spouses."
Shirley Owens: Wow.
Daniel Gomez: And it really surprised me. So I would say just to really be a better husband because my wife is phenomenal. And there are many times that I oppressed her, and talk down to her just coming from that Mexican culture, that's not an excuse. But just that in the Hispanic culture as a Mexican American, it's like, Hey, I run the house and this is my house, and that's just the way it goes. So I would definitely change that.
Shirley Owens: Wow. I think that's amazing. Just the ability to recognize that, acknowledge it and then to move forward wanting to be better. I think that's like A+, right?
Daniel Gomez: Yes. And the beautiful thing is, like right now we're in quarantine and I bring that up because, this is past, we went to a small barbecue, we'd been at the house every weekend so we went out to get out, they invited us. We had some close friends that we hadn't seen so we went over there, and there was another couple there, and we were there. I asked the question because I'm the coach, I'm the personal growth expert, I said: "Well, let's go, let's play a quick game." I go: "Okay, what's something you've learned from this Corona season? What's a lesson you've learned in life that's going to help you be a better person? Or what have you just learned?" And the first two people said some amazing things, then the couple came around. This other couple says: "Well, nothing, we have the money. We're good. We don't need nothing." And I said: "You haven't learned nothing? Anything?" "No."So I looked at the wife and she goes: "No, I look at my soap operas, and he's upstairs doing his work, and he doesn't bother me. So I'm good." "Okay, Mr., what have you learned from all this? And what have you grown in?" I said: "You want to know the real truth." He goes: "Yeah." I go: "You know, I've really enjoyed the fact that me and my wife have been having lunch every single day for the last six, seven weeks. And I really enjoy our conversations because we've never done that before. So just the fact that everyday when my wife goes to lunch, because she's working from home, when she goes to lunch at two here in San Antonio, I looked forward to that because we get to have a conversation. And I've never had that type of lunch day with my wife ever before. And it's something that I'm cherishing. It means a lot to me". I don't think he expected to have an answer, but it's the truth because we have fun, we're silly, we do stuff around the house. And sometimes, we'll just take a break and we'll go to go get an ice cream, or something, or whatever. But I really enjoyed the time with my wife because let me tell you this right now, a lot of people are losing their confidence because they're not in an environment where they can control things. So that self sense of confidence that you can be controlling, manipulative, vindictive, that dictator, you don't have that power right now, it's bringing our audience insecurities in people. You see domestic violence stuff right now, not just for men, but for women too, because there's a lot of women out there too. And madmen that don't have that sense of control and all those instinctive behaviors are coming out, which are not good.
Shirley Owens: Yeah. I've noticed that too. Huge increase in the rate of domestic violence, and definitely hearing my clients speak, and definitely it's coming from a place of not feeling like they have control. So I love that you're taking control in a different way. Our house has been, it's been amazing. We have 10 people living here, our oldest, her husband and their babies have been here. Yeah, we have 10 in our house right now. It's been awesome because we've all been quarantined together. And yeah, there's a sense of control loss when there's that much. But I just call it beautiful chaos. And we, my husband and I have gotten closer through it. I've gotten closer with my daughter and every morning, those grand babies come in and cuddle with me in bed when they first get up. And I don't know, there's just been all these beautiful things. And I hear about all this violence, and anger and control issues in the world. And I realized that I just made a choice and a decision to let go of that. Just let go of the control and kind of let what happened. It has just been such a beautiful thing. So I'm with you. I'm loving quarantine, it's been really, I don't know. It's just been really growing definitely a time to sit in, quiet with yourself. Well, although I have 10 people here, it's a good time for people to sit in silence to think about it. And I think after they show, they can think about their confidence like, where are they lacking? And where, what do they need to work on? So while they're doing that, a great place to go is to you. So can you give me all the information that we would need to get in touch with you? You can tell us about your wife's foundation and also about your Speakers Academy. And I'll also put all of the links into our show notes.
Daniel Gomez: Yes. As a matter of fact, to get a hold of me, you can email me directly at daniel@danielgomezspeaker.com, that's daniel@danielgomezspeaker.com. And then the great thing too, you can visit my website, which is daniel@danielgomezspeaker.com. And if you find me on social media, my brand is Daniel Gomez Inspires. So if you go to Facebook and put Daniel Gomez Inspires, I come up. On Instagram, Daniel Gomez Inspires and on YouTube. So definitely would love to connect with your audience. And then also I have a free gift for your audience. If they go right now to my other website, danielgomezinspires/7steps, S-T-E-P-S, you're going to get a free training of how I start my mornings and the seven steps that I take everyday to get to where they need to be in their life right now. It's going to help them to rebuild their confidence. Because the moment you start to love and believe in yourself, you start to build that confidence. And that's what that 7 Steps To Fly Daily is all about. It's an amazing training. That's totally free, no gimmicks, because I want to give people and serve them in this season that we're in.
“When you start to love and believe in yourself, you start to build up confidence.” -Daniel Gomez
Shirley Owens: Awesome. Thank you. I'll have that on my website also.
Daniel Gomez: Awesome. Man, you're just amazing. It has been an amazing time with you. And I just wanted to say thank you again, Shirley, for having me here and to her amazing audience. I want to end this with, "Nothing is carved in stone in life. If you want something badly enough, you have the power within yourself to change it. The one thing you must do is you must decide if you're going to stop tolerating those things that no longer serve you, and maybe those things that no longer serve you, it might even be somebody that's close to you, maybe a friend that always negative to you, don't be scared to move forward. Because the moment you decide to move forward, everything that you need is going to be there to build your confidence, to build your career, to build your dream life."
“Don’t be scared to move forward because the moment you decide to move forward, everything that you need will be there to build your confidence, to build your career, to build your dream life.” -Daniel Gomez
Shirley Owens: There you have it, Daniel Gomez Inspires.
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